One of the most daunting phases in the life of an entrepreneur is the exhausting phase between financial success and genuine fulfillment. On the surface, business might seem to be going great, the bank accounts are stacked up with digits, debts are non-existent, and luxury can be afforded. So, where’s the feeling of emptiness coming from? You have everything you want, so what more do you need?
Emphasis on “need”. Our wants are always easy to list out, but only people who are deeply connected with their inner selves can identify what they truly need to feel complete.
When Canadian-born entrepreneur and life coach, Randy Belham found himself in this tight spot, he admits that even therapy couldn’t provide the answers he needed to fill the void. Belham is a renowned Jay Shetty Certified life coach, helping entrepreneurs gain clarity and rediscover true purpose in their businesses and personal lives. With his personal experience in pulling up from zero to abundance and with professional training in the field, Belham aims to guide other traditionally successful business persons out of self-created dark holes.
“My background affected my journey and situations in many ways,” Belham narrates. “For over forty years, I lived with so many attachments to pain, suffering, and the false idea that money would solve everything. I resorted to serious substance abuse to try to douse the pain I couldn’t explain on the inside. I co-founded a private school with my wife in 2006 and set up a summer camp in 2008. I continued with substance abuse and following my divorce in 2016, I broke down completely.”
Belham recalls falling to a point where no one recognized what he had become and everything took on a bleak, downward outlook from then onward.
“At that moment, I had become so depressed, crying every moment (something that was completely foreign to me) and attempted suicide a few times unsuccessfully,” he recalls. “The last time I tried, I checked into the hospital and began therapy. While the therapy did good on the surface, I knew I needed more and I wanted more. I began researching more about Buddhist monasteries and immersing myself in meditation and dhamma talks.”
A transformational experience in Thailand
In search of an experience to lift his soul out of depression, Belham found himself in a monastery in Thailand, living with kind monks. He embraced their peaceful way of life, submitting himself to the forces of the universe and learning to let go of the controlling instinct that had made his former life difficult.
“When I was with the monks and learning, it was a big process with a lot of talking and a lot of meditation,” says Belham. “In the beginning, I hated it. It was brutal. Like, it’s just sitting cross-legged for two hours at a time. There’s no talking and in some of the places, you’re only left with your thoughts. It’s just you and your mind. That’s where I let go really of everything that had destroyed me because I was in that condition before the divorce. I was in this perceived control state. I was controlling my life and everything around me. I was also controlling my destiny. In the end, the whole experience exploded in front of my face and said, ‘No, you’re not in control.’ Eventually, I realized that there’s no need to hold onto all this control. How is it serving me? I didn’t have an answer, and so I just let go.”
Belham was in awe of the quality of life at the monastery. Through deep meditation and other targeted practices, the monks were able to stay in tune with their lives and bodies, even knowing the days they would die. They were at peace and fully fulfilled, and the entire experience opened up a new outlook on every aspect of his life.
“My emotional intelligence level is much higher than it was before,” Belham says. “I developed a daily meditation practice that allows me to understand my thoughts with greater clarity. I now have minimal attachments as compared to before which decreases pain and suffering substantially. My physical health has improved tremendously because I no longer use substances. My businesses are thriving because I’m in a state of serving rather than closing. My relationship with my partner is incredible because I am giving instead of taking.”
Helping others find the same balance
Belham now finds his life’s purpose in helping financially successful entrepreneurs stake real claims at true fulfillment. He conducts full-time, hands-on sessions that may span into several fruitful months, helping his clients to develop the optimal mindset, the frame of mind that actively battles obstacles and seeks out peace instead of control.
Belham believes in holistic success and never fails to teach his clients the principles of achieving buoyancy in every aspect of their lives.
“It is all about purpose and knowing why you are here,” he says. “Once you have that figured out, then it takes the proper mindset, an unwavering commitment, and a network of support to make your dreams a reality.”
