There is little doubt that the dawn of technology has broadened our horizons. Unlike a few decades ago, today we can communicate with our colleagues and loved ones anytime and from anywhere in the world. Despite this, there is no denying the fact that many of us are feeling more disconnected than ever.
Bombarded with waves of digital information, many of us have lost sight of what matters to our well-being and the well-being of others — and that’s the relationships we form around us in the real world. And as we spend more time on social media and other communication platforms, we forget to focus on what is right in front of us and the real people in our lives.
Transformational coach, psychotherapist, counselor, and the founder of Australian Online Therapy Training (AOTT) Pty Ltd, Renée McDonald has seen the issues caused by disconnection in a connected world. “Even though I see huge pockets of love and care around the world, there is also a lot of anxiety, loss, and disconnection from others,” Renée says. “This became particularly apparent during the Covid 19-related restrictions. Not being able to hug or kiss family members and friends brought a lot of anxiety up in a lot of us. And when the restrictions were lifted, many people remained reserved.”
Connect With Your Inner Self
Renée says that we are all hot-wired for connection with others, however, sometimes it pays to take the time to connect with ourselves first to understand how we go about forming and developing relationships. “We all have trauma. If we don’t learn how to connect to our inner self to see how it is affecting how we are dealing with others, we will experience anxiety,” she says.
“We all have relationships that we are trying to manage — both on and offline. And when anxiety bubbles up, the first place that this often affects is the workplace,” Renée continues. “Many business owners have lost control of the idea of what it means to have staff. They are simply shoving their meetings in between other commitments, not paying attention to the people they are supposed to be leading. I always say, ‘Go easy on your staff, don’t be so hard on them, be kind, listen, and ask them about what they are going through, rather than just make decisions without them.’”
Embrace Empathy
Harper Lee’s character Atticus Finch, in the famed book, To Kill a Mockingbird suggests, “You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view . . . until you climb into his skin and walk around in it.”
Without empathy, there can be no real relationships. Empathy enables us to step into the shoes of others and really understand how they are feeling and why they may be behaving in a certain way. It also allows us to respond to situations that involve others in a considerate and constructive manner. In the era of social media, it’s very important to keep a certain connection with our ability to empathize across different areas of life.
Replace Anxiety With Love
According to Renée, anxiety — and fear for that matter — and love stand in opposition. Connection and love, in turn, are intertwined. Fear is the retraction of the individual and the ego, which can be so often seen in interactions on social media platforms such as Facebook. Even though people are interacting, or commenting on each other’s posts, on various community groups, too often this interaction takes the form of the kind of personal attacks that would never fly in the real world.
When we act out of love and the desire to connect with others, we often feel more grounded. We are coming from a place of openness and willingness to help. Even if we are not happy with somebody, we take the time to look at the bigger picture. If you find yourself acting out of fear and anxiety, take some time to examine what it is you are really afraid of and acknowledge how you are feeling.
Get in Touch
Whether it is connecting with ourselves or others, staying in touch in the digital era is more difficult than ever. And this isn’t just an issue for individuals; even therapists and coaches can experience anxiety and feelings of disconnection. This is where mentorship can help.
“Relationship skills are highly underestimated in their importance — the majority of people use soft skills in a vacuum without taking into account the context of the world they and others are living in,” Renée says. “Whether on a personal, professional, or business level, we can never forget that we’re dealing with people and hearts.”
