Val Hemminger is a divorce attorney intent on improving family law on a systemic level. She embraces her duty to serve clients and believes in honoring all parts of a family through the transitions of the divorce process. From her personal and professional experiences, Val has created the Be the B.E.S.T. Divorce Lawyer Method to help other attorneys provide quality, client-centered service and care for themselves as they build a professional and profitable family practice.
What circumstances led you to become a divorce lawyer?
It was actually by sheer accident. The first firm I worked for was a very traditional firm, very conservative, and I was not a great fit. I ended up being poached by another firm. I worked for a couple of other firms and I found that within each firm, I found that I was working for others who didn’t necessarily share my way of thinking, and I was making them money and very little for myself. I decided I might as well try to go into practice for myself, and I went out on my own. I “put my shingle up” not knowing a thing about how to run a practice or a business. There were many really hard lessons there, and transparently, I’m not sure I would do it again knowing how hard it was going to be.
Once on my own, I started practice in the area of personal injury as that can be pretty lucrative, but my heart wasn’t in it. Family law came along as a surprise to me because I didn’t really expect to become so passionate about an area of law. I just didn’t think it was ever going to happen. My background was very much a working-class background where you used your hands to make a living. I didn’t really expect to be so very inspired by my work; I was looking to make a better path forward financially. I found that I was doing personal injury and segued into family law work. The family law cases paid the bills while I waited for my big windfall with large personal injury files to come in, but as I started working more and more family files, I began to really enjoy serving those parents and their children transitioning through these hard periods. I was really doing good work for them. I just accidentally fell into family law, and then I realized what an impact I could have in that sector.
Where did the idea for the BETTER Divorce Project come from?
As I worked through the years in family law, I saw some devastating things happen to families who are in transition, many of these awful moments were perpetuated by the divorce industry itself. There are a lot of myths out there that provide toxic experiences. People are encouraged to find an aggressive lawyer and kick their ex’s butt down the street and sideways to take everything. I thought, what if we were to flip the perspective and approach the family still as a unit, but just a family that looks different than originally expected? Maybe a scorched earth policy isn’t the way to go.
I realized over the years that, if parties and parents are educated about their rights, obligations, and resolution methods available to address their situation without dragging a family through the court system, they could save time, money, and stress. They also save money. I realized that to affect real change, I couldn’t work one-on-one with everybody, but I could share important information packaged in a way to be delivered educationally. I could point out the myths that pervade family law and show conflict reduction, resolution, and management strategies that could serve each family.
The goal is to help families move on, not only for the sake of the separated partners but for their kids. That’s how I came up with the BETTER Divorce Project. It’s about helping people realize that they don’t have to be dragged through toxic, broken family law practices but can approach separations in a more restorative way.
What is something unique about the B.E.S.T Divorce Lawyer Method that sets you apart from the competition?
In my law firm, when you walk into our brick-and-mortar location, you’ll see something more akin to a spa than a law office. We have a big four-by-eight-foot Buddha painting that, upon closer inspection, holds the words love, compassion, family, children, forgiveness, and all of these other beautiful words. It’s gorgeous. We have plants and soft music playing, nothing stuffy to say, ‘hey, we’re important lawyers and this is our law library behind us.” One of our firm’s foundational values is to nurture and care for our clients. Our logo conveys this with a heart which represents our belief in love and connection.
We’re about caring and nurturing; that’s really what sets us apart for our clients. People will comment that they didn’t realize lawyers, especially divorce lawyers, could be so caring about their families. People want to be heard, and they want to be understood. They want to know their lawyer is on their side, and that’s where we most definitely stand apart. When people come through our door, they’ll never feel like our next paycheck. We communicate that this is a family that we can guide through this process to help them reach their end goal—respectfully and with care. Our goal is to nurture and let that family see that they’re being nurtured.
Key Takeaways
- Sift through what isn’t serving you—professionally and personally—and find what does. Your life will change because of it, and you’ll most likely change others’ lives as well.
- You’ll never be happy if you stay where you don’t belong. Understanding that I was not suited for my first positions forced me to take some scary steps forward, but that’s where I found fulfillment.
- Helping others is not about being superior or knowing more; it’s about using your knowledge and experience to help improve their lives with as little conflict as possible.
