Selecting a divorce attorney can be a nerve-wracking process. Not only will you need to discuss one of your most intimate and painful experiences—the end of your marriage—with a near stranger, but you’ll also need to trust this person to advocate for your best interests throughout the process. To get the most out of your representation, you’ll need to do your homework and interview prospective attorneys to ensure a good fit.
Val Hemminger, founder, and creator of the BETTER Divorce Project discusses some of the most important questions you’ll want to ask your divorce attorney.
Questions About Representation Style
Before your first interview, think about what you want your representation to look like. Do you want an attorney who sends you weekly updates, regardless of whether anything new has happened in your case? Or would you prefer updates only when something needs your attention?
Do you anticipate a difficult divorce? Or are you and your soon-to-be-ex in agreement on most issues? Hiring an aggressive attorney is almost never the answer, even if you do expect a high-conflict process. Find out what your attorney’s skills are in dispute resolution and if they have experience in high-conflict cases.
Ask the prospective attorney how much they expect your divorce to cost. What methods do they utilize to get it finalized quickly and as inexpensively as possible? Are they prepared to battle it out in court should it be necessary?
Just a few of the “style” questions you may want to ask your prospective attorney include:
- How often do your clients get updates from you?
- How long do you expect my divorce to take?
- How many attorneys will be working on my case?
- What’s the best way to get in touch with you?
- How quickly can I expect a response when I contact you?
- What fees do you charge?
- What retainer will you require?
Questions About Experience
Every divorce is different, but you want your divorce attorney to have experience handling divorces like yours. If you have a complex situation involving substantial premarital assets, a family business, or a child with a disability, you may not want an attorney who primarily handles no-contest divorces.
On the other hand, if your divorce is poised to be simple and straightforward, an attorney who handles simple divorces should be just fine. Some questions to ask your attorney include:
- How many cases like mine have you handled?
- What will your strategy for my case be?
- What are the possible outcomes for my case?
- What is the best-case (and worst-case) scenario?
- Will you be the only attorney handling my case?
Questions About Your Divorce
Along with assessing experience and personality fit, you’ll want to ask some questions tailored to your specific situation. Some of these include:
- Will I have to pay spousal support?
- Will I have to pay child support?
- Could I receive spousal support or child support?
- How will a particular piece of property be treated in the divorce?
- Will I be responsible for any joint debts?
- How will the divorce decree be obtained and when?
By asking these questions—as well as any others you come up with—early in the consultation process, you’ll be in a better position to choose a divorce attorney who’s right for you and your individual circumstances.
What can I communicate to my spouse about the issues we discuss?
When you have a legal relationship with an attorney, your communications are protected through “attorney-client privilege.” This means that the attorney isn’t ethically permitted to disclose anything you tell them—to the court, to your spouse’s attorney, or to your spouse themselves, unless you agree.
However, this privilege doesn’t prevent you from discussing matters with your spouse. You’re free to discuss whatever you’d like—but that freedom doesn’t make it a good idea to disclose certain information or advice you’ve been given. Your attorney can advise you as to what you can or should discuss with your spouse while the divorce proceedings are ongoing.
How can I maintain civil communication with my spouse?
Divorce is never easy, but fostering a civil relationship with your spouse can make things much simpler. An experienced divorce attorney should be able to give you information and tools that will help improve your communication with your spouse, both during the divorce and after matters have been finalized. If things become too tense, it may be necessary for you and your spouse to communicate exclusively through your attorneys for a while, but this is not optimal.
How can I keep the cost of my divorce down?
Asking your attorney this question can give you both a better idea of what to expect from the divorce process and they will likely be able to provide some tips on keeping your out-of-pocket costs as low as possible. Much of the cost of divorce will depend on factors like
- How contentious is the relationship?
- What types of assets are at issue?
- Do both spouses have a source of income?
Once they’re familiar with the facts of your case, your attorney should be able to provide specific information on keeping the cost of your divorce down.
About Val Hemminger:
Val Hemminger is a divorce attorney intent on changing family law for the better. She is passionate about her duty to serve clients and to honor all parts of a family through the transitions brought about by divorce. As a divorce lawyer for over 25 years, she has developed best practices to help other lawyers find success, both personally and professionally. She is the creator of “Be the BEST Divorce Lawyer Academy” and “The Better Divorce Project.”
